The second goal was to enjoy activities that we exclusively could enjoy on a tropical island; spending time in the sun, enjoying the palm trees, and spending lots of time on beaches and in the ocean! It is very odd to wake up with the same weather almost every day. You don’t have to put much thought into your clothing. You don’t have to change plans much because of sudden rain. The best thing is that we wake up earlier than we used to in Portland, because we have natural sun coming into our apartment and the birds (and wild roosters…) are performing a concert every morning.
    My Dutch roots are strong, so I had to figure out a way to bike through the city and go from A to B. So I signed up for Biki Bikes, which has bike hubs all around the city of Honolulu (from Diamond Head in the East to the neighborhood we live in next to Downtown). You can easily unlock bikes with your phone at any time and return them at any hub. I now bike to the Ala Moana Regional Park at least twice a week to swim there. 
    Swimming in the ocean has been everything I dreamed of. It feels amazing to add that routine to my daily life and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. The water is so clear and blue, and there are so many fish and sea turtles swimming around me as I go for my 2km training. When I’m done swimming, I take a quick shower at the beach (the water is surprisingly salty haha), grab a snack and just sit underneath a palm tree while drying in the sun. To be able to say that this is ‘’a regular Wednesday’’ for me is still not making any sense to me!

The third goal was to slow down in life. That sounds a bit vague, but it was actually one of the reasons we moved to the island. Our lives in Portland were rather hectic. We had our jobs that frequently took up over 40 hours a week, we had a busy social life, I was making road trips through Oregon almost every weekend with Abby, and in hindsight I don’t think we got proper rest in the area we lived in. There was always something going on. I’ll tell you about that part in a separate blog – ‘’the truth about why we left Portland’’ – but for now I just want to say that everything that was happening around us really took a toll on our mental health. It was never peaceful or quiet. The last month of us living in Portland was so bad that I couldn’t even walk Abby by myself anymore in broad daylight, as I constantly got bothered by people on the streets. When you’re in the middle of it you don’t realize how bad it is. In comparison, Hawaii is extremely peaceful and quiet (and we don’t even live in a ‘’quiet’’ neighborhood). I also wanted to slow down in life because honestly the last 6 years of my life have been a whirlwind. I have hardly spent any long periods of time with my family in The Netherlands since 2017, been traveling between Japan, the USA and The Netherlands with no place that I could truly call my home, going through an extensive immigration procedure, the pandemic, navigating a marriage. I lived life fast, and I didn’t know how to slow down.

I’m hoping that living in Hawaii is going to help me to finally take some rest. To enjoy life to the fullest. I noticed that you get forced to slow down in Hawaii little by little. First, there’s the weather. With light warm days and sun year-round, you just feel more energized. It invites you to spend your days outside, instead of working a 9 to 5 inside. Then, island time really is a thing. You can’t rush anything in Hawaii, it simply will not work. People are just slower here, for a good reason.

Being the outsider

It may sound a little rough to put it into those words, but we do feel like the outsiders in Hawaii. That’s not to say that we don’t feel like we fit in, or that we feel uncomfortable with the melting pot of cultures. To the contrary, I like how culturally diverse the group of people on the island is. It took some getting used to when we first moved here, seeing so many different people and hearing different languages every day. But respectfully, we are outsiders. We did not grow up on the island, and island culture is not a thing that you can acquire later. From talking to the locals, it seems like growing up on an island changes you. It changes the way you treat the people around you and it changes how you go about your day. There is something unique about growing up on a little piece of land surrounded by the big powerful ocean. As one of the people we met here recently said ‘’You do not want to make anyone angry, because chances are, you going to see them again sometime’’. Sure, the city of Honolulu still has 345 thousand people living here. However, the island is just not that big. What locals share is not something you can easily understand or experience for yourself. There is a reason most people from the mainland only end up spending a couple of years here before moving back. Hawaiians have a powerful connection to their land, and I want to be as respectful as possible. Honolulu has extremely rich areas and very poor areas. Unfortunately, these rich areas seem to mainly be occupied by white people who have a lot of money. When you can buy a condo in Ala Moana/Waikiki, you will live a very good life here. There are luxuries all around, rooftop swimming pools, yoga rooms, infinity pools, giant gyms, hotel service concierge. For whoever can afford it. The reality is, a lot of people can’t afford living in Hawaii, not even in the cheaper areas. The cost of living is one of the highest in the entire US and having multiple jobs is kind of the norm here. It wasn’t like this when there were just native Hawaiians living on the island. A lot of natives are being priced out and that is a very sad thing. I can understand why not everyone on the island is happy to see all these rich people come to their island and enjoy a luxury lifestyle, while they can’t even afford their groceries. And still, I feel welcomed here. I may stand out because of my light skin and blond hair, but I truly feel more comfortable in this melting pot than I ever did in Portland. The people are kind here. They take the time and are interested in your story. They are very family-oriented, and this extends to friendships, work and even gyms. It is a stark contrast compared to the mainland’s extreme individualism.

Homesick?

As someone who has lived in quite a lot of different places/countries in her life, I do not have a clear definition on what ‘’home’’ is anymore. When I get homesick, I might describe that as a longing for something familiar. A strong desire to be with my loved ones. A need to be surrounded by people who share the same values and ideals because they grew up with them. In that sense, The Netherlands is still my home. But I don’t entirely fit in there anymore. I have some American in me now! Do I miss Portland at all? I have been back once – in January for work, and I did not like being back at all. The only thing I liked was smelling the rain and the mossy trees while taking a walk and seeing some of my friends. I don’t miss the culture. I don’t miss the food. I don’t miss the city, and I don’t miss the views. So far, we do not have any regrets about leaving Portland. But only time will tell ..